I saw a man reading on the underground, a fat round man. His face was so close to the page of his book that he was physically reading each word, running his eyes directly across each one as if it were eye brail. I assumed poor eyesight and thought little of it. the book was a science fiction Tolkien type of thing, not the sort of thing I would read at all. As I looked at him, he sneezed loud and hard right into the book which bumped off his face with the blast. This remains one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen, it was like a bolt of electricity, the book was a cattle prod in his face.