Dear Carruthers.
Back in India now and finally settled in the Maharastran town of Pune – job, flat, stuffed sheep, everything.
The flat is a 1980s aggressive modernist
block with stark white interior, cruel angles and brash shoulder pads. It is
minimally adorned with ash veneer furniture, all glass and straight lines, the
sort of thing that ‘doing up the house’ programs would call ‘clean
lines’. We even have the inevitable black leather sofa. Picture the old
Boddingtons advert with the Tuxedo and Ball Gown couple, their sophisticated
home, the swan and the ‘By ‘eck you smell gorgeous tonight petal’
beer swig. Their home is our new home. It is a huge penthouse suite on the seventh
floor with a 100 square foot terrace facing west. Being on the top floor it
is boiling hot but has no mosquito problem. It is always above 40 degrees in
there, but we have an air conditioner. Looking out across the city, we could
be anywhere, but mainly it looks like Beiroot. There are of course, many reminders
that we are in India. The lift plays “Theme from Love Story” at
some volume whenever the door is opened – this means that all guests are
announced by the tune, every time someone comes to the door, its ‘Clunk’
‘Der ner ner ner ner, der ner ner ner ner ner ner, der ner ner ner ner…’
‘Knock Knock’.
Amazingly, we also have a neighbour who has the same tune (only louder) attached
to his car reverse gear. An added bonus is that each time he departs or returns,
he reverses round a little floral roundabout in the car park, presumably enjoying
the tune. If we’re lucky, sometimes the car and the lift coincide, and
we’re treated to a warped stereo version of this ubiquitous tune.
The flat is a ten minute walk from where I work and it is now so hot that I have to use an umbrella for shade on my journey. The walk is down a dirt track and I am an unusual spectacle – a white man with a briefcase and work clothes, red umbrella, in 40 degree sunshine walking past peasants in tarpaulin covered huts staring in disbelief. I am going to buy a car soon just to stop the looks.
Does you happen to know a derogatory term for white person that is used among Indians? I am very disappointed in the response to this question here. I have only been offered ‘gauri’ which apparently means ‘white’. I need to know so that I can say it under my breath as I walk past my new neighbours. Unlike in England, they are apparently not saying ‘there goes the neighbourhood’ as the first white people (us) move in, but are more probably saying ‘rents must be going up’. Whatever they are saying, they are not saying it to us – unlike in Goa where as tourists we need to be courted for our cash, we are of little interest to our nouvea riche, yuppie neighbours.
Our friends at work are all yuppies too. Julie noticed this and I have been laughing about it ever since. They all want to go to only the poshest bars and restaurants and shun any places suggested by Julie or I. We went looking around a second-hand market, and they were aghast. They all like Brian Adams and Enrique Doubleglazias. We are going to have a party soon, we are both dreading it, what are they going to make of The Fall?
Home made joke based on factual information:
Q - How many Indians can you get
in a lift?
A - Fourteen.
Julie has started doing painting classes which I understand are largely taught
in Hindi. The only Hindi she knows is ‘teekay’ which means OK, and
‘Kulja Sim Sim’ which means ‘Open Sesame’. I’m
expecting lots of paintings of Ali Baba and the 40 thieves.
We retrieved our lost trunk and with it our stuffed sheep, so you can rest a little easier. The sheep should be clearly visible in the attached photo of the flat. It cost just over 2 pounds. The window above the sheep is where Julie feeds the Mynah Birds - a pair who are nesting on the adjacent window ledge. We obviously call them Morris and Ursula. Julie has enticed one inside the window in only 3 day. I look forward to the day I return from work to find the three of them sitting on the sofa, chatting and having a cup of tea. Incidentally we saw a humming bird the other day and there’s a really irritable and erratic baby gecco that hangs around the lift listening to ‘Theme from Love Story’.
OK, enough for now. We are both happy for the time being. We may go back to Goa in 5 or 6 months, we may not. Time you see, we need it.
Here’s a website about our new place:
http://www.rameshbuilders.com/html/ongoing/hheritage/hheritage.htm
Our address is:
Flat 26, block D3
Hermes Heritage Phase 2
Shastri Nagar
Pune
411 006
India
The Indian postal system remains terrible, so no valuables please. However please send stuff we can stick on our walls, there is no culture here, religion and celebrity reigns.
We both have mobile phones, text
messages cost a maximum of 20p.
Mine:00919823373043
Julie:00919890582297
Until next time…
Curzon Jnr